The Musical Education of Mom

Thad and I went to Dallas for a soccer tournament this past weekend. It was just the two of us this time so I gave up control over the radio to his thirteen year old music tastes, fueled mainly by various iHeartRadio KISS-FM stations. Now, I’m a complete NPR junkie and am constantly swatting his hand away from the radio controls so I don’t miss a moment of All Things Considered. The only time I listen to actual music is during the interlude between stories so this was a great departure from my norm.
The DFW area is approximately three and a half hours from Austin, an exceptionally long time to be held captive in a car filled with interminable pop music, but I managed to survive and even learned a few things about the music: 

  1. The pop music radio station you jammed to all the way to Dallas may infuriate you on the way back. There is only so much Justin Bieber, Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, and Macklemore one can listen to before insanity sets in. 
  2. Selena Gomez pronounces “good” as if it has two syllables, so it sounds like “goo-wood.” And apparently this is how she wants to look for you, like gooey wood? Whatever, Selena.
  3. I like Demi Lovato SO much better than Selena, mainly because I’m pretty sure she can pronounce “good” correctly. However, after listening to “Cool for the Summer” the seventeenth time I realized what the song was about and Demi? Stay away from my son.
  4. Justin Bieber is confused, bless his heart. He doesn’t know where Selena is nor does he understand what she means. I’ll make it easy for you, Justin: she’s NOT with you and she means NO.
  5.  Mackelmore and Ryan Lewis’ new song “Downtown” is filled with random along with a ton of WTF. Most of the time it’s a rap except for when it’s a ballad. They play tribute to several classic hip hop legends and may (or may not) may not sample the “Safety Dance.” Also, it’s about mopeds. MOPEDS, y’all. Believe me, the less you think about what it means the more awesome it becomes.

The regular soccer season starts this Saturday and the first game is in San Antonio. I’ve got just one word for you, Thad: headphones.

Too Much Caffeine Women

I’m having a bit of difficulty with limiting my caffeine intake lately. Today I had two (TWO!) Rockstars even though I know I shouldn’t mix them with my ADD meds. Like EVER. I always know when I’ve gone over my limit as I start getting eyebrow twitches and I tend to try to open my eyes as wide as I can without any good reason to do so. I expect that my entire brow bone will be incredibly sore tonight after hours of eyebrow aerobics. 

I have to watch myself because too much caffeine can make me quite manic. Actually, it’s the lack of sleep that comes along with consuming too much caffeine that is the real problem. Now that I understand this I can usually head things off by taking my sleep meds so I get enough rest. I really need to lay off the caffeine altogether, though. 

Ugh.

How to Build a Leprechaun Trap in Five Minutes or Less

You, too, can make a leprechaun trap in five minutes or less! Here’s how:

    1. Child tells you he needs a leprechaun trap for school. Also? He needs it TODAY. This should happen no more than five minutes before you have to leave the house.
    2. Tear through the pantry to find a box. Decide that the Apple Cinnamon Cheerios box will have to do.
    3. Child will tell you he wants a pressure plate that will drop the leprechaun into the box and then snap back up. Cut around the apple on the box and add a rubber band. Child will inform you that this is not a real pressure plate.
    4. Briefly wonder where the child learned about pressure plates in the first place.
    5. Search craft supplies for something gold. Find a gold ribbon and tie it around the box.
    6. Write child’s name on the side of the box. Child will be upset because he doesn’t want the leprechaun to know who trapped him.
    7. Take child to school. Child will make you carry the project because it’s “not a real trap.” Attempt to explain that it’s just a prototype and that you would need a considerable amount of venture capital in order to build the real thing.
    8. Vow to teach child the benefit of not waiting until the last minute.
    9. Discover that the teacher sent an email last week regarding the project. Introduce your head to your desk.


Le Tote: The One Where My Tote Went On Vacation #letote

I realized this morning that my latest shipment from Le Tote should have arrived on Wednesday.  I checked the USPS website and discovered this:



My package is in Puerto Rico. For those of you playing the home game, I live in Texas. Unless I’m mistaken, Puerto Rico is not in Texas.

It’s sad when your packages take better vacations than you. Sigh.

Lazy

I’ve been rather lazy about writing the past couple of days. It’s frustrating but not something I’m going to kick myself about. (Okay, maybe a little, but not too much.)

My second Le Tote shipment is in its way. I was supposed to have a VIP type of access that would allow me to swap things out in my tote if I didn’t like them but I wasn’t given the option to use it this time. I’d actually rather be surprised but it is annoying that I didn’t get the chance to try it out. Maybe I’ll make a fuss about it next time if I’m disappointed with this tote.

And… that’s about it for now. Happy Monday!

Frozen, or Let Me Go! Let Me Go!

I’ve never actually seen Frozen and truly enjoy the thought that it’s unlikely I ever will. 12YO is too old and 5YO thinks it’s too girly, so no Disney Princesses for me! Perhaps I would feel differently if I had daughters, but I doubt it. In any case, the title fits my less-than-enjoyable experience at 12YO’s track meet today because I was absolutely FROZEN and all I could think about was how much I wanted to go home.

It is not quite freezing here yet but it might as well be. Had you seen all of us wimpy Texan parents this afternoon you would think we were in imminent danger of dying. The wind was blowing like crazy and nothing – not my coat, gloves, afghan, boots, and winter jacket – could keep it from crawling under my skin. I’m always cold to begin with, but today my extremities were beginning to turn white. If we’d stayed longer I’m certain I would have started turning different shades of blue.

I moved to Texas from Minnesota in January of 1986. Back then my family and I couldn’t help but laugh at how Texans would freak about the cold which, to us, was not cold at all. For instance, today it was about 37 degrees F when we were shivering away on the sidelines of the track meet. In contrast, it is 4 degrees in the town I once lived in. It’s likely that I would not have been all that cold in 4 degrees back when I lived there. Today I felt like crying and the temperature was still above freezing. My parents had to leave after less than 20 minutes. What has happened to us in the last 30 years?

You would think that having such an adverse reaction to cold would mean Texans would bundle up on days like this. Remarkably, you would be wrong. It’s not so much that they don’t want to but rather that they don’t know HOW to. Even if they did they wouldn’t have had the right clothes to do it correctly. For instance, my grandmother died in December of 2006 on the weekend of a huge ice storm. The power was out for a large part of the St. Louis area, including my aunt’s house. It got down to about 40 degrees INSIDE the house before everything came on again. Needless to say, it was still pretty darn cold in the area when I arrived for the funeral.

It’s at this point in the story where I become astonished at my stupidity. I ran out to the mall to get a black dress before I left for the trip. Let me point out the most idiotic word in that last sentence: DRESS. I had no business going to St. Louis in subzero temperatures wearing a dress, what with the acres and acres of bare legs I was dragging out in the elements. And the thing that frustrates me the most? I should have known better. Fortunately, my mom had a Thinsulate comforter in the trunk of their car. I’m pretty sure it saved my life.

My main strategy for dealing with cold is to just not go outside. It works most of the time, but you can’t count on it once kids happen. I love my children and will always do things like turn into a block of ice to see one of them jump hurdles. (Also, I’m insane.)

In any case, I’m off to turn up the temperature in the house. God bless my furnace.

So very, very tired

Of this stomach bug, I mean. Yes, it’s still running rampant in my house, and today was my morning to be parted with my stomach contents. If I had to choose a day to be sick today would definitely be a good day for it. Apparently my team at work is all freaking out about freezing rain and ice so they’re heading home to work. The last I saw was that we’re forecasted to get less that an inch of ice, probably much less. Oh, Texas, I love you, but can we try to get over this ice phobia? If you’d just drive a little slower… okay, THAT’S not going to happen.

Just got the call from the school district. Schools are open normal hours today but it’ll be wait-and-see for tomorrow. I hope that I’m either well tomorrow or the kids go to school. Both of these situations together is asking a bit much, don’t you think?

Sickness: The Saga Continues

Yes. Really. The stomach bug has extended its run in our house yet again. It’s 12YO’s turn and he’s having trouble with the concept of “You can only have clear liquids.” Here’s a quick list of what he thinks constitutes a clear liquid:

– crackers
– pickles
– tomato soup (close, but not quite)
– noodles
– vegetables

I expect we’ll be adding to the list as he gets more desperate for real food.